I have made a lot of mistakes. It happens. For the most part, I am happy to take them on the chin, to live with them, learn from them. Hopefully they have made me a better person.
One mistake stands out above the others, though. It involves a girl.
A little background – We caught the same bus to school and we would talk from time to time and naturally we became friends. She had a boyfriend and I was an 18 year old male human chasing just about anything I saw. We were doing our own thing. One day on the bus, she started crying. She had broken up with her boyfriend. I had no idea how to deal with this. I am not good with crying, so I asked her to stop, because she would make me cry and it sort of worked. She laughed and felt a little better. We had become closer friends. She was (and probably still is!) funny, much smarter than me and very, very good looking. She smiled all the time. I decided that I was attracted to her and let her know. Except she had a new boyfriend now. It gets a little messed up now. I pushed her to break up with him, because I wanted her to be with me. After some convincing, she did.
So, we had agreed that we liked each other! Awesome! I had finished school at this point, but the bus company recognised me and didn’t mind too much that I took the bus in to town to meet her. We had my patented first date experience, which never fails. It was great, her company was just as good as always, but I wasn’t in to it. All I could think about was how plain she looked. Let me just take a moment to reiterate, she is remarkably attractive. I was punching well above my weight. I could not get over this thought. I told her I should go home a couple of hours earlier than we had planned and we headed to the bus station. As the bus pulled up, she went to kiss me and I moved my head to the side, so she could only kiss me on the cheek. I got on the bus and immediately received a text from her. She was furious. I made all sorts of excuses, but it all broke down from there.
It was a shitty thing to do. It’s been 9 years and I still feel bad about it. It’s silly, she’s probably forgotten all about it and moved on. I have no doubt she’s doing well.
But what if…